Murphy

What I am Thankful for this November

A few of my friends are posting what they are thankful for all month long on Facebook while others have jokingly shared a blog post about 29 days of complaining. I admit i’ve tried the 30 days of Thankfulness in the past but it really isn’t my thing. I’m thankful everyday. Something may aggravate the heck out of me but there is always, always something to be thankful for. This Thankful November I am just Thankful that I can write this blog post.

Thankful | Country Girl Gourmet

Halloween was a pretty typical day. I had some errands to run. I filled up my gas tank, delivered cupcakes to my daughters school, found the last piece to my son’s costume at Goodwill and then had to drive into town. Payday and Halloween together made for heavy traffic but it was ok, I had plenty of time. I decided to go to the Party City to buy fake blood and then I would go to Target to pick up a few things. Nothing crazy going on but the traffic  headed to Party City. It took an hour but I got the fake blood.  All I needed now was to go across the street to Target.  My light was green but that traffic was still bad so I had to wait. I even decided to snap a pic of the craziness for my husband  but pretty much as soon as I did the road had cleared so I could finally go.

Thankful | Country Girl Gourmet

I don’t know if it is because I pissed off Murphy blogging about him or what but Murphy struck.  As I was driving across the intersection my car was t-boned. I don’t remember much, it happened fast. I can remember sounds but not much more. I ended up across the street, shaking and then staring at my phone unable to think. I needed to call 911 but couldn’t focus. Thankfully someone came up to my window to check on me and let me know they had called 911. So I called my husband, not like he could do anything. He was in Georgia and I was home in North Carolina. My brain was on my kids not myself. School would be getting out in a half hour and their bus would be at our house not long there after. Once my little ones get home it isn’t long until Mr Great would be getting home. What was I going to do!

Another person I later found out was an assistant fire chief checked on me also and next thing I knew an ambulance was there. I decided to get out out of my car and assess the damage on the passenger side of my car. Isn’t that what people usually do after an accident? Shaking something fierce, I managed to walk around my car and the paramedics had me sit down just as I was getting lightheaded. Still shaking and unable to think straight I sent a message on Facebook asking friends for help. Why was thinking so hard to do? Thankfully a wonderful friend was able to get my kid’s and I relaxed some. I was checked out and given the option to go to the ER but I denied to go, again putting my kids ahead of myself. I was ok, just shaken up.  The  2 paramedics and a ENT student stayed by my side until I was visibly calmed down. I declined going to the hospital because of my kids and it was halloween and well I was only shaken up. Eventually the cop on the case wrapped things up citing the other driver as running a red light and  had me move my car to the Target parking lot. We went nice and slow since I was driving on a flat. From there I called my insurance to fix the flat, well if it could be. Plan B was to have my truck towed. Now calmed down I checked out my car and was immediately thankful. I was thankful first that I was alone in my car and my kid’s were in school. I was then thankful that it was a car that hit me, not another truck and lastly that I wasn’t seriously injured. The fix a flat guy eventually came and was able to put on my spare so I drove home, despite my car telling me that a car door was open among other warning lights.


Thankful | Country Girl Gourmet

Once I got home I thanked my wonderful friend for help and went into super mommy mode. It was Halloween after all. I created an Elsa and a Zombie complete with bloody wounds.  We skipped dinner and went straight to trick or treating. It was a pizza for dinner after trick or treating kind of night. Then once the kids had gone to bed I crashed.

Thankful | Country Girl Gourmet

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The next morning I was sore as would be expected but I just felt off. I drove my broken car to Walmart to get those things we needed. I took 2 hours there! This may be normal for some but not me. Target maybe but Walmart.. oh heck no. In addition to that I was about to check out and I had forgotten everything I needed. Yes, forgetting one or two things is normal but everything was not me at all. I was telling my husband how I was feeling and he told me to go to the ER where they did a CT. Thankfully it was clear but in addition to having whiplash I had a concussion. Later the next week my regular doctor agreed with he ER’s diagnosis and told me I was on brain rest. Yes, brain rest. Basically, minimal technology use… TV, computer, iPhone, etc. If it had a screen it was bad. That meant no writing, no BlogHer NaBloPoMo, no taking pictures, absolutely nothing.  After a week of brain rest I tried to blog but just couldn’t. It took me about 3 weeks. My spelling and grammar use are coming back as well, i’m not 100% but I am getting there. Yes, there not their or they’re which I have annoyingly to myself mixed up and written the wrong word since my accident. My doctor says i’m recovering well and better than to be expected but my family is tired of my  jokingly using my concussion as an excuse when I forget things. As for that whiplash it has turned into what the doctor thinks is just muscle inflammation and i’m told may take weeks to fully subside. I’ve been given the ok to run again but not lift weights, that will hopefully come by the end of the year. She has explained to me that my body took a good brunt of the force from the way I was hit. I can hope but at the same time be thankful it appears to only be inflammation.

My last injury is something that none really talks about. I now have anxiety when driving. It is normal. Just as normal as the thoughts you have after the accident that maybe if you had done something different you wouldn’t have wound up in the accident.  Going into town takes time now and not from just getting ready to go somewhere. I have to work myself up to do it. Driving through intersections are particularly bothersome and anxiety producing. I have asked my friends for advice and it was all the same. Take baby steps and over time it will get better. A few other great tips included: Have a friend drive to help you get used to being on the road again, take it slow,  stick to the right lane so you can pull over if needed, use your GPS to calculate distance and ton’s of deep breaths.

As for my poor car it took 3 weeks for the other person’s insurance to decide liability. That was 3 weeks I had a car that was unsafe to drive and put my kids in. Heck, the passenger rear door did not open at all yet my car’s control center said it was open. Three weeks of canceling doctor appointments and putting my volunteer responsibilities on hold. I can only imagine what it would have been like if I had a job I needed to go to daily. It was three  long weeks of regular calling to find out what the heck was up. I spent 3 weeks of dealing with the person who hit my car lying and saying her light was yellow. I am still trying to figure that one out. Is it really that hard to own up to something and admit fault?  Yes, I could have gone through my insurance but after speaking with my insurance agent we decided it was best to wait on liability because there was no way the accident was my fault. I am thankful that after that long 3 weeks liability was decided that the person who hit me was 100% at fault. I  finally have a rental car although it is much too small for my family of 6… not sure what happened to my approved rental for a Large SUV. My truck is finally in the shop and the worry whether it can be  fixed or will be totaled (and my family would subsequently need to make an unplanned large purchase at Christmas) appears to be over. All of the canceled appointments have been rescheduled, my volunteer work can resume and life as I know it can try to get back to normal.

So here it is the very tail end of the month of thankfulness  and I am thankful, so very thankful!  When you tell someone you have been t-boned in a car accident a person’s mind automatically thinks of the worst possible things. Side impact collisions are some of the worst types of collisions to get in. They are right up there with head on collisions and rollovers. So yes, I am thankful.  I may not have posted about it everyday but I am thankful. There are plenty of things that truly suck about car accidents  but I can be thankful for much more after mine.

 

Dear Murphy…

 

 

 

I am a well seasoned military spouse but with that said there is something that no one ever told me about when it comes to military life. It is best known as Murphy’s Law of Military Spouses. This is basically when your spouse is away anything will and can happen and I mean anything. If it can break, it will break. If you or your child are going to get sick and/or injured, you will get sick and/or injured. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. Murphy doesn’t care if your spouse is in the field for a week, TDY for a month or deployed. Murphy doesn’t discriminate. Murphy doesn’t care what your spouses rank is. Murphy just knows when your spouse is gone and invites themselves over for a vacation.
Dear Murphy... | Country Girl Gourmet

 

So now that I have explained what Murphy’s Law of Military Spouses is let me give you some examples of Murphy’s handy work. Over the last 15 years I have experienced it all. During my husband’s last deployment friends and I were going through similar problems at the same time. It was oddly coincidental when a group of us all had broken washing machines or were driving rental cars all at the same time. Dear Murphy… Why must you be so mean?

Here are probably the top ways that Murphy likes to make it’s presence known in no particular order:

1. Major Appliances and Home Issues

Murphy likes appliances. Washer’s, Dryers, Dishwashers, Ovens and more.  Air conditioning and heating systems are always a fun things that Murphy likes to break. Appliances will all of the sudden start making weird noises, blow up, leak or just all out quit working.  Pipes start leaking, and toilets have all sorts of issues. Murphy really likes to do his best to make things go awry at home. Leaving you to fix the problem (Google and Youtube are your friends) while other times you need to call a repair person or just replace the appliance.

2. Illness

Somebody will get sick especially if you have kids and because you have taught your kid’s to share, they will share their germs. If Murphy is really nice he will bring the stomach flu to your house and it will hit in the middle of the night.  They will get sick in their bed, then on the carpet on the way to the bathroom and once you think they are better and asleep in your bed. They will throw up in your bed. The next morning they will be better but you will now be sick. Be warned if Murphy really likes you he will have multiple children getting sick at the same time. Trust me it is so much fun, yes that is sarcasm.

3. Emergency Room

I have joked that when my husband is away that I needed a frequent customer card when it comes to emergency room visits. I am thankful for Tricare in this department. Somehow someone always ends up in the emergency room. Whether it is a kid getting hurt somehow,appendicitis  or something else. At one point or another somehow you will probably end up here.

4. Family Emergencies
Extended family emergencies are not out of the spectrum of things that Murphy dabbles in. From an extended family member getting severely ill to passing away. These type of emergencies are common.

5. Spiders, Bugs and Rodent’s, Oh My!

Murphy loves little critters! Especially little or not so little critters that make you want to scream. While your spouse is away you will deal with the biggest spiders you have ever seen. Fire ant’s will take over your yard and no amount of Amdro will get rid of them. You may have a pest person or use Ortho Home Defense religiously but bugs seem to keep finding their way in. Let us not forget about slithering things and little mice. Ugh, the hairs on my neck are sticking up just thinking about it.

6. Technology Problems

When your spouse goes away Murphy likes to play with all your gadgets that connect you to the world and your spouse. Your cable or satellite will go out. Your phone will decide to quit working, even if it is only a couple days old. Your hard drive will crash and your computer will give you the blue screen of death.

7. Natural Disasters

While your spouse is away the weather may get a bit crazy. There may be really bad storms that bring tornado’s, lightning strikes and floods. In the summertime there may be a hurricane. In the winter unusually cold weather and snowstorms. Sandstorm’s that bring brown out conditions. Murphy may shake things up and there will be an earthquake. Weather happens and when it happens it can bring along with it it’s own weather related problems from frozen pipes to leaking roofs.

8. Pet Emergencies

If you have pets know they are not immune from the wrath of Murphy. They will get sick or your never has an accident dog will have an accident. They may eat things that they shouldn’t, like that cute new pair of shoes, when they have never chewed up a thing in the past.

9. Car Problems

Murphy loves cars! Murphy loves messing with cars in a wide variety of ways. Murphy likes making cars break in many different ways from a flat tire to leaving you stuck with an empty tank on the side of the road even though the gas gauge said you had a quarter tank still. When Murphy doesn’t surprise you with the check engine light he may surprise you in other ways. You may find yourself in your first car accident from a simple fender bender to worse.

10. Financial and Legal Problems

Last but not least Murphy likes to monkey with financial and legal issues. There may be problems with paychecks to credit card numbers being stolen. Then again there is the part where you are emptying your wallet to pay for all the things that go wrongThen there are a whole slew of legal issues that may come up. For me I was actually being sued by an old doctor I had not seen in like 4 years due to a Tricare mistake. Odd stuff happens.

 

These things along with others just happen as soon as your spouse leaves. You can try to prevent them but that doesn’t usually help. If something is going to happen it will, that’s life. There is no telling how many times Murphy is going to bother you and interfere with your normal life. It can be annoyances all day long, something new every day of the week or a new problem every month. I have yet to decide which type of annoyance is the best and/or worse. All you can really say is Dear Murphy… You suck!  While it does suck you need to know Murphy is also helping you! When Murphy strikes you have two options, break down or put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Life happens and it continues to keep going and your problem will still be there if you break down. So while breaking down is understandable and venting is good for you, the problem will still be there and you need to deal with it. Dealing with all the problems that Murphy brings you teaches you to learn how to adapt and helps build your resilience! So, Dear Murphy… Thank you  for making me a stronger person!